“Congratulations!” I say, “You’ve decided to attend college. Truly, it might be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make. After all, college can be a ‘gateway’ to a better life.”

My fingers make the “air quote” sign at just the right moment. I work at Florida Gateway College, so my pun usually gets a reaction. A few students offer a good-natured groan or roll their eyes with exaggeration, but others smile or chuckle.

(According to several former students, my sense of humor leans strongly toward “dad jokes.”)

It’s the first day of class and we’ve been going over the syllabus, so everyone seems to appreciate the attempt at humor.

But now we’ve reached my favorite section of the syllabus. I call it “My Expectations.” And while they assume I will talk about my class, they don’t yet know that I’m also going to talk about life.

You see, college really can be one of the best decisions our students will ever make. We live in a rural area, and a nursing degree (for example) will lead to a much higher salary than the jobs available at one of the local restaurants or retail stores.

So, my tone takes a turn to the serious:

“But going to college is not a one-time decision,” I say. “It’s a daily decision. You have to choose to come to every class you possibly can. You have to choose to be attentive in class, to take notes, to participate in class discussions and activities, and to submit quality work on time.

“Who has heard the phrase, ‘You have to go to college to get a good job’?”

Quite a few hands go up. It’s a phrase that has been popular since at least the ‘80s when I was in public school.

“In many ways, that’s true,” I say. “Unfortunately, that means a lot of students see a college degree as just a hurdle to getting the job they want. It’s an obstacle, something to be obtained with as little effort as possible.”

Here comes my favorite moment: my “shock and awe” tactic.

“Well, I might be the only college professor to ever tell you this, but a college degree is basically worthless.”

I pause for effect; I also enjoy seeing the looks of surprise and confusion. Then, I continue…

“It’s a piece of paper.”

I hold up a piece of paper.

“Think of it this way. If I had the authority to grant you a Ph.D. in Chinese Language and Literature, could you suddenly speak Chinese? Could you understand it? Could you read or write Chinese?”

Students shake their head, and understanding starts to dawn in their eyes.

“Now, a college degree might help you get a job, but it won’t help you keep a job. If you don’t have the skills, knowledge, discipline, and sense of personal responsibility that this piece of paper suggests you have, then your new employer will quickly realize that and fire you. They’ll hire someone who does have those things, who can do the things the employer needs done.

“The real value of college is the education one receives – the skills, knowledge, discipline, and sense of personal responsibility mentioned earlier – not the degree itself.

“So, I want you to consider these questions: Why are you going to college? What do you want to do in life? Where do you want to be in twenty-five years? Or maybe in ten years, if you’re an older student?

“And most importantly, what are you doing today that will help you achieve those goals?”

I then tell students, “There will be days you’ll wake up and think, ‘It’s a mighty fine day. I think I’ll go on a picnic instead of going to class.’ But will going on a picnic today help you accomplish your long-term goals? Will it get you where you want to be?”

(In The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal describes several studies that indicate getting people to think about the future can strengthen their willpower in the present moment. So, I like to get students to think about their future as often as possible.)

After another brief pause, I tell students the departmental pass rate for whatever class they are in, and I point out – statistically speaking – what percentage of them will either withdraw or fail by the end of the semester.

“In my experience,” I say, “there are three main reasons students do not succeed in my classes. First, some students just don’t come to class. At least not regularly. Maybe once in a while, but sooner or later they simply disappear.

Second, even if they come to class, some students don’t submit the assignments. I’ve had students with perfect attendance who never submitted a single assignment that was to be completed outside of class.

“Third, even if they come to class and submit the assignments, some students don’t follow the assignment’s instructions. If I ask for four pages, they give me two pages – that’s only 50% of the assignment. What grade is 50%?”

Students reply, “F.”

“Or, if I ask them to analyze something, they merely summarize it. That’s a lower cognitive skill. I can’t give them full credit for that.

“Now, although I don’t hand out passing grades for minimal effort, it’s not overly difficult to pass my class. In fact, if you come to class, do your work, and follow the instructions, you’ll be well on your way to passing my class – and succeeding in life.

“After all, consider this: what happens if you don’t show up for work? If you do what’s referred to as a ‘no call, no show’ several times?”

Students reply, “You get fired.”

“Well, what if you come to work, but you don’t actually do anything? You’re taking sixty smoke breaks a day, you stand around chatting with people, and stuff like that?”

Students reply, “You get fired.”

“Okay, what if you come to work and you even do some work, but you always do it wrong? They tell you to do something one way, but you always do it another way?”

Students reply, “You get fired.”

By now they’ve caught on. Just showing up, doing their job, and doing it the way they’re supposed to do it will go a long way toward helping them succeed – both in college and at work.

At some point in the past, the American school system, from kindergarten through higher ed, seems to have lost sight of the fact that the goal isn’t a degree but educated individuals.

Degrees became a convenient credential required for many jobs, and so they became the goal.

But we need to remind students that their future success is not dependent on their degree, which is merely a piece of paper. That piece of paper won’t help them perform on the job.

Their future success relies on what they can do, on what they know, and on how reliable they are. A degree is just a symbol of those things – and it only matters if it is an accurate symbol.

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